How to Succeed in Business

Cut your hair really short
And keep it in place
With gel and hairspray

Wear clothes that don't flatter you
Be they too loose or too frumpy
And shoes you can't walk a mile in

Cover your face with makeup
Paint on a smile
To hide your frown

Worry what others think of you
Let them call you a saint
While making you a martyr

Ride the fence in the middle
Hold no political views
Or any views at all for that matter

Cheer on the company
Even during layoffs
And while execs line their pockets

Eat lobster bisque and drink red wine
While ignoring hobos hungry for food
And a family hungry for love

Pledge your free time,
Your health, and your life
In the name of loyalty and dedication

And when the company decides
You are expendable
Worship them for giving you a job