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                  FOR THE WOMEN'S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP:
                         S&M[c] versus The Furies
.........................................................................
                            Writer: Gib Crosby

[As the lights in the arena go out, a faint trio of female voices can be heard slowly chanting; one says "Flames", a second "Purification", and the third "Justice". The chants repeat, growing gradually louder and faster as the arena lights glow redder and redder, until all three voices chant "Furies" simultaneously, at which point a wall of searing flame erupts at the entrance, returning the house lights to normal.

"Adiemus" by Adiemus starts playing as the Furies move through the curtain. As they slowly walk towards the ring, Angel stays focused on the ring while Leslie looks out into the crowd. When they reach the ring, Leslie leaps up onto the apron and holds open the ring ropes for Angel to enter after climbing the ring steps. As Angel removes her cloak and hands it to an attendant, Leslie flips over the top ring rope.

SS: Time for the champs to get purified!

DR: I wasn't aware you were in favor of that sort of thing.

AM: Does it have anything to do with neither of our champs willing to succumb to the old Steeley charm?

SS: As a matter of fact... maybe.

[The opening guitar riff blares through the loud speakers. The lights begin strobbing a variety of different colors. As the words begin, Satin Sheets & Melody stand at the top of the ramp. On the unitron, images of S & M in various outfits and situations flash on the screen. Always with a smile...]

# American Woman, stay away from me #
# American Woman, mama let me be #
# Don't come hanging around my door #
# I don't wanna see your face no more #
# I got more important things to do #
# Then spend my time growing old with you #

[Satin makes her way down to the ring as the instrumental part plays, strutting down the ramp, while Melody bounces along in front of her, cheerfully mocking tonight's opponents. Satin smiles, looking around to the fans, playing up to the crowds pops, hotting, hollering, and chants. Melody hits the ring first and is immediately set upon by the tag champs. The referee hurriedly calls for the bell.]

DR: Sneak attack by the challengers, stomping away on Melody before she could get to her feet. Here comes Satin hoping to even up the odds.

AM: Mel's sprained wrist isn't the best thing to have in a match with two precision assassins like the Furies.

[Leslie Hernandez peels away from the assault on Melody to trade blows with Satin as she slides into the ring. Satin gets the better of the exchange, and quickly backs Leslie up into the ropes, hammering her with hard right hands. Meanwhile, Melody is slowly working her way to her feet as Angel chops away at her right shoulder, targeting a specific point. Satin Irish whips Hernandez, but is reversed, Hernandez holding onto Satin's arm and stunning her with a solid karate kick to the face! Angel pulls Melody to her feet, and with a satisfied look, the Furies toss the champs over the top rope, then turn to celebrate. As they do, they miss their opponents holding onto the top ropes and landing on their feet on the apron. Satin and Melody call out to their opponents, who turn around, only to be met by stereo springboard clotheslines! The crowd goes wild as the challengers scramble to their feet, only to be met with stereo dropkicks, causing Wildfire to roll out under the bottom rope. Angel needs a little encouragement to leave the ring, which Satin is happy to provide in the form of a clothesline that sends Angel to the floor. The Furies collect themselves as the champions celebrate.

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"]

DR: Good recovery by the champs to take the advantage away from the Furies, who need a moment to get their act together.

SS: Nothing I like better then a good two-girl act...

AM: We just can't mention the team name "S & M" without setting you off, can we?

SS: Nothing's setting me off, I have strong self control...

DR: Let's not go there.

[Hernandez returns to the ring, and is met by Satin, who is choosing to start the match for her team. Headlock by Satin countered with a judo throw by Hernandez. Satin gets up, met with a chop to the chest, ducks a high martial arts kick, and clubs Hernandez in the head. Hernandez staggers back, dropped with a clothesline, Satin goes for an elbow, misses. Hernandez kips up, assaulting Satin with kicks as she struggles to her feet. Satin whipped to the ropes, ducks an elbow, off the other side, flying body press, one, two, kickout! Hernandez gets up, met with an armdrag, once, then twice. Satin twists the arm, and tags in her partner. Melody scales the top rope, and comes off. Hernandez braces for the shot to the arm, but the unconventional Melody surprises her with a missile dropkick to the face!]

AM: Never know what you're going to get from Melody.

SS: If you expect something that doesn't make a lot of sense, a lot of times you can see it coming.

DR: You can't deny Melody's success in the ring. She didn't use the conventional move there, she hit something more high-impact.

[Angel begins to agitate on the apron as Melody works over Wildfire. Scoop, slam, cover, two count. Melody drops an elbow, cover again, two count. Mel picks up the challenger, uses European uppercuts to back her into the corner. Whip by Melody, reverse by Hernandez, Melody climbs the ropes, spins around, meets a kick to the gut from Hernandez! Arm drag and twist, followed by a quick tag to Angel, who is chomping at the bit to enter the ring.]

DR: And Angel enters the traditional way, dropping a forearm to the shoulder of Melody.

SS: Not as much panache, but it does follow.

[Angel wrenches the arm of Melody, kicking her furiously in the ribs. As Melody sinks to her knees, Angel drops her to the mat with a headscissors. Angel, her face a mask of rage, twists viciously as the ref inquires if Melody wants to submit. She does not, to the crowd's relief. She makes an adjustment, then surprises Angel by kipping up, out of the hold, to her feet. Running off the ropes Melody surprises Angel with a spinning leg lariat! Cover, one, two...]

DR: Kickout! Angel was surprised by that move, but she's still too tough to have been taken out of this match.

AM: A mistake I think for Melody. She should have taken advantage of her situation to tag out.

SS: Yes, that would have given Satin a chance to use her big move, the "Hook Up With Whoever The Biggest Loser In The UWF Is At The Time."

AM: I'd take her dating history over yours any time.

[Melody monkey flips Angel over, covers again, two count again. She backs the challenger up into the ropes, hits a loud chop to the chest...

"Wooooo!"]

SS: I really wish they'd quit doing that.

[...and whips Angel off the ropes. Melody drops her head to go for a backdrop, but she does so too soon, and Angel hooks her arms, flips her up, and drops her with a double underhook backbreaker. Melody is writhing in agony on the mat, but Angel does not give her a chance to rest. Hauling her to the Furies corner, Angel and Hernandez (now tagged in), each take an arm, twist, and knock Melody silly with a pair of kicks to the head. The lovely Harlequin sags to the mat, as Hernandez covers, one, two...]

DR: ...and Satin Sheets drops an elbow onto Hernandez to break up the count. That may have just saved S & M's titles right there.

AM: And, as usual, as the ref forces Satin out of the ring, the Furies are making Melody pay for the distraction.

[What Amy refers to is Hernandez has draped Melody over the top rope, her feet (originally) on the apron. Hernandez has her arms hooked, and Angel is on the floor, pulling on Melody's ankles with all her might. Once the referee notices, they release Melody, who slumps to the apron, rolling slowly under the bottom rope back in the ring. Another quick tag to Angel, who stares confidently at the prone Melody. Lifting her up, Angel hooks an arm, and hits a vertical suplex... then stuns the crowd by holding on, rolling through, and hitting another one...]

SS: She can just keep this up until she gets bored, when she's done, she can pin whatever's left of Melody.

AM: Much as I hate to agree with Sam, he's right. The Furies are about to take Melody apart there in the ring.

DR: Yet another suplex from Angel... no, wait! Melody flips over and lands on her feet... ROCK A BYE BABY!

[The crowd goes nuts as Melody pulls the swinging neckbreaker out of absolutely nowhere to stop the Furies from putting this match away. The battered champion and her stunned foe both slowly, painfully make their way to their corners. Angel makes the tag first, and Hernandez, seeing Melody two-thirds of the way to her corner, races to S & M's corner to try to knock Satin Sheets off the apron. But Satin senses the plan, and jumps down to the floor, just out of Wildfire's reach. Wildfire spins around to Melody, who sneaks through her legs, reaches her corner just as Satin jumps back up on the apron, and, well, we'll let David tell it...]

DR: BIG TAG TO SATIN SHEETS, AND THIS CROWD GOES WILD!

[It's not so much what he says, but the enthusiasm with which he says it. Satin drops Hernandez with a hard right hand, once, then twice. Angel comes into the ring, and she gets dropped as well. Bodyslam on Angel sends her rolling out to the floor, but Satin turns around into a huracanrana from Hernandez. Wildfire picks up her stunned opponent, sets her up for an Irish whip, but this time it is Satin who reverses the move, grabbing Hernandez head...

"CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE!"

"CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE!"

"CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE!"

"CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE! CLEAVAGE!"]

DR: Satin putting on that submission hold, Wildfire fighting it like crazy.

SS: I still fail to see how that move can win a match.

AM: I keep telling you Sam, no matter how you ask, she's not going to put it on you.

[This time it is Angel who saves the match for her team, coming in and kicking Satin Sheets in the back of the head. Satin staggers backward, and Hernandez catches her with an enzuigiri kick. Furious at being the recipient of Satin's humiliating finisher (No pun intended), Hernandez grinds her boot into Satin's face, twisting viciously. Reaching out to tag her partner, Angel now comes into the ring, dropping a knee to the stomach of Satin Sheets. Cover, one, two, kickout. Angel whips Satin off the ropes, and Satin makes a blind tag to her partner! Angel doesn't see it, however, and locks on a dragon sleeper, pulling up viciously as she demands Satin submit. Melody, however, is now the legal woman in the match, which means the ref has nothing to say when she flies off the ropes, over Angel, grabbing her neck on the way down, hitting a Blockbuster! The crowd, however, has quite a bit to say...

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

"S AND M! S AND M! S AND M! S AND M!"

Hernandez is back in the match to interrupt what would have been a certain three count. Satin recovers enough to surprise Hernandez with a DDT, causing her to roll out of the ring. Satin follows, and the two are brawling on the side of the ring. Meanwhile, in the ring, Melody has picked up Angel, and is setting up for another Rock-A-Bye Baby, this time to end the match...]

DR: Wait... what's this!

[The crowd buzzes as Rebecca "Speedbump" Marshall makes her way down to the ring!]

AM: SIS? What is she doing out here?

SS: Hmm... I have a theory... hot Speedbump-on-Satin action?

AM: I'd slap you, but I'm too concerned.

SS: About what? She parties with the Fraternity Boys, Amy. She's seen things no man should...

[Marshall stops at the ring apron... and she starts waving her arms!]

RSM: Melody! Melody!

[In the ring, Melody has gotten back to her feet... and hears her name being called. She looks around in confusion... until she spies Speedbump.]

M: What do YOU want?

RSM: I wanted to apologize!

M: ...

RSM: You know, for how Chris and Brian acted towards Chaos? Oh, and I guess for the tank thing last week...

M: Rebecca?

RSM: Yeah?

M: I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A TITLE MATCH!

RSM: It's not my fault you're hard to find backstage!

AM: I can't believe I'm seeing this...

M: Go away!

RSM: But...

M: I said GO AWAAA....

[But before Melody can complete that exclamation, Angel rolls her up from behind. As the referee gets into position, Angel finds a way to get some extra leverage.]

AM: Feet on the ropes!

DR: Ref doesn't see it.

[1!

2!

3!]

DH: Here are your winners, and NEEEEEEWWWWWW UWF WOMEN'S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... THE FUUURRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIEEESSSSS!

RSM: Oh no! Oh no...Melody, I'm...

[And then, realizing that maybe now is not a good time to apologize, Rebecca runs like hell to the back.]

DR: Ladies and gentlemen, I can't believe what we've just seen, but yes, we do have new Women's Tag Team Champions. Thought not without a couple of caveats.

AM: What they hell was Becky thinking?

DR: Some alleged interference and the use of the ropes means the Furies have won the titles. And it seems neither Satin or Melody are happy with that result.

[As Melody gets up off the mat, still in shock, Satin Sheets approaches her. Melody turns to her partner, only to get shoved back to the mat to everyone's shock!]

AM: Wha?

[As Melody pulls herself up off the mat again, Satin screams, 'What the hell was that?". Melody tries to explain herself, but Satin appears to want none of it. Melody tries to plead her case again, but Satin pie faces her and begins to walk away. The crowd now seems very interested as Melody has now gone from apologetic to pissed. She grabs Satin by the shoulder and spins her around.]

AM: WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?

DR: The former champions have exploded!

[Only Satin responds with a boot to the gut and follows it up with a Satin Bomb. Melody writhes in pain on the mat as Satin Sheets brushes her off and heads to the back. Speedbump takes this opportunity to make a hasty retreat.]

AM: Oh my God.

DR: What a week this has been for Melody. She hurts her hand in a car accident. Her boyfriend gets screwed out of a rematch for the World tag Team Titles. She loses the Women's Tag Team Titles, and now her own partner walks out on her.

SS: Yep, sucks to be Mel.

AM: Pig.

SS: What?

DR: The Furies haven't left ringside though, and I don't like the looks of them eyeing up Melo- WAIT A SECOND, IT'S THE LOVES!

[A HUGE POP as Lolita and Leanna Love catch the new champions by surprise before they can go after Melody again! Lolita goes after Leslie, a rolling pin in hand while Leanna takes a shot at Angel, blasting her in the ribcage with a pair of nunchucks! The Furies grab the belts and head up the aisle as the sisters call after them, daring them to return.

As the crowd roars once more, Lolita rolls into the ring to check on Melody's condition, Leanna keeping guard. Chaos and Terror fly down the aisle as well, and after a few moments Melody is able to limp back to the dressing rooms, the Harlequins and the Loves helping her.]

AM: What a high octane match! I hate the outcome, and poor Melody was screwed out of the titles, but thank god for Leanna and Lolita!

All spelling mistakes are from the original match transcript and are not the responsibility of Sabbat Justice or this website.